how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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