It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
