Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
