I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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