I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize