Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
