I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
