who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Drunk is not a location!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we should paint friendship bongs
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
