Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
