If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
