i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
