I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
