the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
