The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
soo... how was my night?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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