we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he was CRYING into my vagina
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
