but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
