Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
