saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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