We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize