You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
