see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
