Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
