Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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