i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
