i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
