Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
