He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
