with your own penis?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize