there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
