Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
