he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
