i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
