i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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