I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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