whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
