After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Randomize
