Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
