I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize