I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At least life still wants to fuck me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
