i barfeds in our rink
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
