The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
