PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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