do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
