The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I supernannyed him into submission
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize