What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
