I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
