I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
