no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
