Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
