I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
