And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
