I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
