he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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