so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
