"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
