"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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