So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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