this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
