I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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