Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
