His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
