I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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