Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
another moral hangover. fuck.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
