did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
