new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
