I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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