tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
