I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Randomize
