remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
