I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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