plz talk dirty to me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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