i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I had to cum in my sink.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
