hell yes lets make some ravioli
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
