we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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