I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
