I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
