drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
