You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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