love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
