What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
