we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
