We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
