I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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