This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
